Taking a page from Jacob's book of advice...

After a lot of tumult in my life, it became apparent that I needed some help with my problem. It was determined that I had a dangerous addiction to whoop-shooping, and so urgent help was needed. Instead of paying for rehab or counseling, we decided to turn to a cheap alternative. That's when Nintendo stepped in. Introducing the latest in the line of Wii software, and from the makers of WiiSandwich, comes WiiTherapy, a new paradigm in the psychological care industry.


WiiTherapy is the latest self-help game from Nintendo. Labeled by reviewers as "impressive," "highly marketable," and "a little cheesy," WiiTherapy is quickly making strides in the industry. WiiTherapy uses a remarkable new process of psychological evaluation known as a WiiMentalProfile, to determine, in a quick and easy way, exactly what your problems are, and how to fix them. It then uses these to create a predetermined "prescription" of helpful mini-games in order to solve all of your problems in no more than two weeks flat!

Don't take our word for it, though. Check out these customer testimonials (from REAL customers!)



Name: Jacob Ospa
Age: 21
Occupation: Dentist
"When I first got WiiTherapy, I was worried that my results would be both frightening and publicly available. Luckily, my results were both comforting and confidential, meaning that I didn't lose my medical practice, and the government didn't steal my computer or my collection of "erotic art," some of which features "underaged" men and women. Thank you WiiTherapy, for keeping my secrets under wraps."





Name: Son Goku
Age: Nobody can quite tell anymore.
Power Level: OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Rage problems are hard on me and my loved ones, and PTSD is just as much of a struggle. Fortunately, WiiTherapy has just the right mixture of mini-games, schlock, kitsch, and medical expertise to get me back on my feet again, fighting dangerous aliens and eating magic beans in two weeks flat. Now, thanks to WiiTherapy, I can walk around in my own home without breaking shit, or beating my wife. Thank you WiiTherapy."



Name: Kermit the Frog
Age: 53 puppet-frog years
Favorite TV Show: Sam and Friends (1954)
"Alcoholism is a serious problem. When I started falling down on the streets and whoring myself out for sadistic pig dominatrices just for an extra two bucks, I realized that I had really hit rock bottom. WiiTherapy is ideal for addiction counseling, and it really allowed me to recognize my true potential. Now I've come to terms with my homosexuality, and given up the bottle. I finally feel comfortable with telling people that I get hands crammed up my ass for a living!"



Now that you've read some of the exciting true-life stories of real WiiTherapy customers, don't you think it's time you give it a try? I know I did, and look at me now! I'm sitting at the top of the world, writing a blog that nobody reads at 3:11 AM, Eastern Standard Time (GMT-4 hours.)

Buy WiiTherapy. It's that helpful.

IGN- 10.0/10.0
"WiiTherapy is the most exciting development in gaming software in years. It's at least ten times better than Halo was when it first came out."

GameSpot-15.0/10.0
"Move over GTA IV, there's a new game in town and its name is WiiTherapy. In addition to being a good game on the Wii, it also makes me feel good about my daddy-issues!"

Gamer.nl-98/100
De menselijke WiiTherapy bestaat uit drie zwellichamen twee aan weerszijden bovenin (de corpora cavernosa - enkelvoud: corpus cavernosum), en een aan de onderzijde van de penis (het corpus spongiosum). Deze derde is groter dan de eerste twee en kegelvormig. Hij vormt aan de voorzijde van de penis de zeer gevoelige eikel. De eikel wordt beschermd door de voorhuid een losse huidflap die naar achteren kan schuiven en daarbij de eikel vrijlegt. Om verschillende culturele, religieuze en medische redenen wordt de voorhuid soms gedeeltelijk of geheel verwijderd; dit wordt besnijdenis of circumcisie genoemd.


I've really lost my mind, haven't I?